Monday, December 25, 2017

Time-and-Space Asylum Law

I’m an attorney specializing in time-and-space asylum law. I work for a nonprofit legal firm known as Terrestrial Charities. I don’t make nearly as much money as the attorneys who broker contracts with interplanetary businesses, but it’s a sacrifice I chose to make because I knew this is what I wanted to do before I even applied to law school.
This is a social issue that I care about deeply: I’m a second generation descendant of a temporal immigrant. My grandmother fled to the 26th century to escape from her abusive husband in the 21st century and seek a better life for her daughter (my mother). I never met my grandmother. For some reason, my mother was always secretive about what became of Grandma, even though she told her immigration story hundreds of times. All I know is that when my mom became an adult, Grandma disappeared. Was she kidnapped? Was she murdered? Did she retire and move to a home where the entire planet has paradise weather that’s perfect for retirement? Regardless, every temporal immigrant I help makes me feel like I’m helping Grandma and that I’ve giving them a chance, just like the attorney who helped her.
I also wanted to specialize in time-and-space asylum law because I have seen first-hand the prejudice that temporal immigrants faced. This includes the verbal abuse of being called names like “drifters,” a derogatory term for temporal immigrants, similar to the “wetback” term referring to Hispanic immigrants in the U.S. in the 20th and 21st centuries. 
Even those of us who were born in the 26th century are treated as second-class citizens. I take issue with that because temporal immigrants have made valuable contributions to 26th century society. Who built the spaceships that took the explorers to the far reaches of the solar system? Who designed the probes and telescopes that charted the known universe? I mean, just look at the president of the Intergalactic Conference! He’s half 20th century, and his wife is 100% 19th century. I don’t know what it is, but for some reason, the rich and powerful love to pick up their trophy wives from the 19th century. Maybe it’s because the women in those days went to great lengths to make their skin pale, and fair skin was back in vogue in the 26th century?
Sorry for the rant. I get really passionate when it comes to politics, especially when it comes to issues that directly affect me. I just hate hearing complaints from the old-timers (who were born well after the people they resent, I might add) claiming that temporal immigrants are a threat to “temporal purity” and that they drain temporal resources. What does that even mean? Ever since time travel was discovered in the late 21st century, when have the demographics of time been “pure”? When have we not relied on temporal immigrants? And what kind of resources are diminished by letting people travel back and forth between various epochs of time? And what about the retirees that love to take vacations in pre-time travel eras? Do they ever consider they can be just as much of a threat to “temporal purity” as the honest, hardworking temporal immigrants? And how is it, after 500 years of leaps and bounds in scientific advancement and cultural diversity, people are still making the same complaints that Americans used to make about Middle Eastern, Hispanic, Italian, Irish, Jewish, German, and Chinese immigrants in the 19th, 20th, and 21st centuries? Why don’t we learn the lessons of history?
That was another rant. Sorry.
Enough background. Here’s the story with my latest client:
I met her during a routine “Know Your Rights” presentation, which is an outreach program that Terrestrial Charities provides to detained temporal immigrants. After each of these presentations, we interview the detainees to see if there are any that need our legal representation (the Temporal Aliens Act provides a right to legal counsel for immigrants in temporal removal proceedings, but does not allow for court-appointed counsel to those cannot afford it).
At the risk of going into another rant, I just want to point the injustice of the authorities keeping temporal immigrants locked up with intergalactic criminals. It’s outrageous because breaking the law is worlds apart from trying to make a new life for yourself. For example, victims of domestic violence should not be lumped with murderers, drug dealers, or those who commit heinous crimes like spaceship theft or destruction of Intergalactic Conference property.
Sorry, no more rants.
I asked this woman the standard intake questions: place of birth, time period of birth, places and times of residence, etc. I have to ask these questions because the Intergalactic Conference recently passed the Temporal Aliens Act, mandating that any non-citizen of the 26th century had to be removed to their time period of origin but, as a compromise to public outrage, grants asylum to temporal immigrants who had a well-founded fear of persecution in their time period of origin.
She indicates that she was born in Miami, Florida, USA, Planet Earth, on January 25, 1992, and resided there continually until her departure in 2017.
“How did you end up here?”
She told me she was detained at the portal when Portal Patrol guards apprehended her. She was classified as an arriving “alien.” Not alien in the sense of extraterrestrials, but rather people who aren't from the 26th century. Funny thing, it’s 2517, Earth has colonies scattered throughout the solar system and has charted 63% of the known universe, yet it still hasn’t discovered intelligent life that didn’t originate on Earth. I would say more, but I promised no more rants.
“Are you afraid to return to 2017?”
Yes.
“Why?”
“My husband thought I was cheating on him and he said he’d kill me. He owns a major casino but doesn’t pay the bills or let me have any money, not even to buy a pair of shoes for myself, or to buy diapers and milk for our daughter. I tried reporting him to the police, but they never arrested him, never even followed up. I think it’s because he bribed them to do nothing because I saw him pass a brown paper bag to a cop and shake hands. When he found out I had reported his abuse to the police, he beat me until my ribs cracked, and told our daughter to stop crying, that there was no reason for her to cry. I had to drive myself to the hospital and bring my daughter with me because I was afraid of what my husband would do to her, and I was afraid that the paramedics would tell the police what happened, and that the police would tell him that I ran my mouth again. My doctor told me I was lucky to be alive, and that I needed to recuperate in the hospital for a couple of weeks.
“When I recovered, I decided that I couldn’t go home. I took my daughter with me and used my life savings to pay a smuggler to get me to the nearest time portal, as far in time and space from my husband as possible.”
My jaw drops and I’m speechless. I have heard this story, word-for-word, from my mother’s lips hundreds of times. There’s only one person this immigrant could be.
“Grandma?”

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Romulus Mission to Proxima b

[Excerpts from Romulus Mission Log]

Day 1096; Time 0500: This is Major Jeffrey Alan Johnson, signing in. Chip just brought me out of hypersleep so I can begin my year-long shift babysitting the ship while the other crew members sleep. He gave me crap about being a “tired old grandpa” and “asked if I could handle it.” Psh. I’m 37. He’s freaking 32. Sheesh. Kids these days. Who spent 10 years flying experimental aircraft for the Navy? That’s right, me. None of the three other crew members can say that, and I don’t care what fancy degrees they got from what prestigious colleges.


Chip claims he’s the lucky one now that his shift is ending, but I get the better end of the bargain: my shift will end with us plummeting like a missile through Proxima b’s atmosphere before rocking and rolling onto uncharted terrain. Oh, did I mention that this is the first manned space flight to a planet outside the solar system? And I get to be the Neil Armstrong of this voyage! It’s gonna be one hell of an adrenaline rush. Just have to wait 364 more days.


Day 1096; Time 0800: Just worked out, had breakfast, and showered, checked everyone’s vitals, ran diagnostics, and literally twiddled my thumbs for 20 minutes. And it’s still morning on earth. I AM BORED OUT OF MY MIND!!!! I’ll play some video games to pass the time until lunch. Yes, I’m a grown man and I play video games. I really have nothing better to do right now.


Day 1096; Time 1800: Just ate dinner. Gonna cheat and take my sleeping pills right now and go to bed early. Don’t tell mission control, ok? When I wake up, it will be a mere 363 days until atmospheric entry. I can hardly wait.


364 more days left.


Day 1097; Time 0500: Finally. A new day. Are we there yet?


363 more days left.


Day 1150; Time 1201: Asked the ship's computer on a date. She declined. I guess she doesn’t appreciate what a guy like me can provide her. Her loss.

310 days left.


Day 1151; Time 1400: I miss the gold old days of flying experimental aircraft for the Navy. The novelty of playing with new toys and the thrill of risking my life made life worth living and it got me some attention from some lovely human beings, specifically *female* human beings.

I wonder, will any of my exes will be sad if I die?

I still haven’t gotten over that rejection from yesterday.

309 days left.

Day 1200; Time 1335: Note to self: don’t send a human to do a robot’s job. The ship’s robots were scheduled to do some routine maintenance today, but I'm so damn bored I overrode the system and tried to do the maintenance manually. I suited up, went outside​, twisted some wrenches, and... punctured one of the oxygen tanks. Not wanting to end up like Apollo 13, especially with me dangling out in space. I somehow managed to fix problem. 

I was tempted to wake other crew members out of cryosleep, but I didn’t want to do that because once they’re taken out they can’t go back in, and there aren’t enough rations to last them all the way to the Romulus b.

I don’t like how easily the oxygen tank busted. I have a bad feeling about this.


260 days left.


Day 1250; Time 1700: Today's dinner rations were delicious! Holy cow! Why didn't they send us with more of these? A juicy prime rib, buttery corn on the cob, a gooey apple pie, topped off with an ice cold beer? Where has this been all my life? It’s better than any meal I had on earth.


210 days left


Day 1300; Time 0500: Just read the news report. What a yucky reminder of the politics back home. It drives me nuts when people say, “It’s just another space race.” Or “We already beat the Russians to the moon. We don’t need to beat them to Proxima b!” I hate feeling caught in the political crossfire. Why can’t we all just appreciate the marvel of space exploration?

I guess they’re just jealous they don’t get to make a grand appearance on a new planet on behalf of the citizens of earth. I’d be jealous if I were them. Good thing I’m me!


160 days left.


Day 1459; Time 2000 Tomorrow’s the big day! I can hardly sleep! The day I’ve been waiting for is almost here!

And to top it off, I’ll be having conversations with actual human beings again! I have so much to tell Chip and the others.

Hopefully he’ll forgive me for stealing his prime rib/corn on the cob/apple pie/beer ration. I think I earned myself a celebration. I’ll pay him back, I promise!


1 day left.


Day 1460; Time 0500 Chip, Jack, and Mary are all up from hypersleep. Time to start this rodeo!

[End of Crewmember Log Entries]

[System Updates]

Automatic system update: Heat shield punctured. Initiate emergency repair procedures.

Automatic system update: Emergency procedure failure.

Automatic system update: System temperatures critical. Initiate emergency cooling procedures.

Automatic system update: Insufficient system coolant. More system coolant needed.

Automatic system update: System coolant depleted.

Automatic system update: Guidance control malfunction.

Transcript of last transmission received from Aquila I: “Chip, I’m too young to die!”

[End of Romulus Mission Log]